Starting therapy (or psychotherapy, if you’re feeling fancy and want to be exact) is no joke. I’ve been there. It is difficult enough to decide you’d like to start therapy, let alone picking someone to book with and going to a first appointment. A few things to remember before you start on your therapist search:
- In my opinion, you can never be 100% sure of fit until a few sessions into psychotherapy. And yes, that sucks on logistical and financial levels. But think about it: would you be sure of a new friend or partner before spending some time with them? Heck, I wouldn’t even be sure of a new dentist until they had cleaned my teeth a few times, you know? What you can be sure of us your intuition. If you have a good feeling about someone, there’s usually something to that.
- Consultation calls (i.e., a brief phone or video call with a potential therapist prior to booking a first session) can be helpful to rule a potential therapist in or out, but they give very little information in terms of how you will feel in therapy with this clinician.
- Therapy approach matters so much. If you are someone who likes structure and rules, you are going to want your therapist’s approach to reflect that. If you are someone who wants a space to talk and explore, you are going to want a therapist who matches this with their approach. Take a look at this link for detailed explanations of each therapy approach: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/types-of-therapy. There are so many, I know, I know. I would suggest using this link in tandem with your therapist search. Find a therapist who could be a good fit? Check out which approaches they use to confirm the potential for a good fit. We at Levity Counselling all use person-centered therapy first and foremost, followed by our own favourite accompanying approaches.
Taking the above in mind, let’s say you begin your search and you find a few potential therapist who give you good vibes, as the kids say. Now I want you to dig real deep and ask yourself:
- Do they seem warm, friendly, and knowledgeable?
- Do I get any red flags off the bat?
- How nervous am I about my first session with them?
Notice none of the considerations include “Can I trust this person with my deepest thoughts and insecurities.” Why? Because how the heck are you supposed to know that before meeting the person! That’s too much pressure to expect yourself to know so early in the process. Let’s ask ourselves that after the first, second, or even third session.
I have a fellow psychotherapist friend who tells each new client, “If you don’t like the sound of my voice, if I remind you of your 4th grade teacher who scolded you, if you don’t like how I say my r’s, I’ll help you find another therapist who suits you better.” These are the red flags I’m talking about early on. If something about your therapist bugs you, that is 100% okay. It’s human, in fact. It happens. Don’t try to get over it; try someone else instead.
I promise we therapists just want you to find the right fit and have a good experience in therapy. I have had first sessions where I can tell I’m not the correct fit for a client, and they don’t return. I can honestly say I am glad that this person is in tune with what they need and they are committed to finding it. Want a referral to someone who does therapy a little differently? I don’t know about all therapists, but me and my team are happy to give out referrals to other clinicians in Ottawa. And the people who stay with us? Well, we build amazing, deep connections and do great work together.